I can’t believe you are turning one. Where has the last year gone? This time last year I had no idea you would be here in less than 24 hours. Just the niggling worry that something wasn’t right that you weren’t happy. Waiting from when they confirmed you weren’t happy to when I had you in my arms was terrifying. Lying there concentrating trying to feel you move, to know you were ok. The operating theatre was scary, your Daddy stroked my head and was there for both of us, worried too. You came out crying and calmed when they placed you on me, under my gown and covered with a towel to keep you warm. I tried to look at you, to see your face, but you were too high up. They had to squeeze you on me as the rest was being operated on. It didn’t matter though. I could feel you on me, warm and breathing and the relief I felt is something I don’t think I will ever feel again.
I made up for not initially being able to see you properly over the next few days, weeks and months. I will never get bored of looking at your beautiful face. I can remember watching you have a cuddle with your Daddy, I wasn’t feeling great after the section, but watching the love between you melted my heart. It still does now. You are so lucky to have him as a Daddy. He loves you so much!
This last year has been tiring, emotional, amazing and beautiful. The hazy newborn days were full of cuddles and sleep and milk. I try to cling on to the memories and sometimes it seems so clear like it was only yesterday and others it seems like a lifetime ago. I look at pictures of you so tiny and want to pick you up out of the photo and breathe in that newborn smell again.
We have watched you grow and change so much this last year. You are no longer a tiny helpless baby. You are turning into a little girl before our eyes. Each moment, each first I treasure as you are our last. I will never again watch a baby learn to crawl, takes those first steps and say Mama.
As you wobble towards us with a smile on your face I’m so proud of you and I know I will continue to be proud of all of your achievements. I want so much for you, but most of all I want you to be happy, to know you are loved and to believe you are beautiful on the inside and out.
So my beautiful baby girl. I love you so much, Happy Birthday!
Oh yeah I’m crying now! So so lovely.
Happy Birthday Ava! #PicknMix
sarah recently posted…10 Reasons Why Being a Working Mother Sucks Balls
Such a beautiful post! My first is turning one in 3 weeks, and your post made me think about this time last year when we thought he was still 2 months away (he was prem). Incredible how one day can change our lives forever. I’ve been so excited thinking about plans for celebrating the first birthday that it hadn’t really occurred to me to take some time to remember the incredible day that he was born. Thanks for reminding me what we’ll really be celebrating <3 #PicknMix
Robyn recently posted…TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER
Really beautifully written and many congratulations on your little ones big day I hope it’s extra special. #picknmix
Catie recently posted…Family fun: Cake pops from Dr Oetker
Beautiful post. I can’t imagine how worried you must’ve been during your labour and the relief you must’ve felt once you knew everything was okay. Our baby girl is ten months now and I can’t believe how fast she’s developing at the moment, they really are a joy at this age. Although I’m a little worried about when she starts to walk/ run into everything! Fun times ahead #PicknMix
Mum in Brum recently posted…Taking my blog to the next level
What a lovely letter! I cannot believe where the time goes. It is such a magical time when they are growing up yet it goes so quickly. #Picknmix
Kirsty Edwards recently posted…Fashion & Gossip Fuelled Friday
How beautiful! It is truly so incredible. That first year and all of the moments on this journey of motherhood even with the wild range of emotions are truly worth it. You captured that in your post, When I was first pregnant with my son, I cried a lot due to hormones and also being scared of the change it would all bring. I questioned myself and if I could do it. However, isn’t it amazing how much these little people change us. With all of the ups and downs, I could not imagine life without my son. He has made me into my best self yet. Anyways, enough of my ramble. Happy birthday to your precious beauty and as always, amazing post. #PicknMix
Ah what a sweet & touching letter! The first year goes by so quickly but there are so many changes & developments in that short time. It really is an amazing year! This will be a lovely letter for your daughter to read when she is grown up. Thanks so much for hosting #picknmix x
Becky, Cuddle Fairy recently posted…My Week at a Glance 22
Awww beautiful and you daughter is beautiful too
She is soo lucky to have such a fab mummy 
#picknmix
Gemma xx
Gemma @ Confessions of a nagging mother recently posted…Ten Attractions You Must Ride In Florida
ahhh such a lovely post. Happy 1st birthday young lady xx #PicknMix
theloveofacaptain recently posted…Review and Competition: EllieBeanPrints Personalised Print
Happy birthday little one. I remember the joy of just looking at my newborns face, there really is nothing more precious in the world.
Its lovely that what was obviously a difficult birth for you is also soething special for you to look back on. #Picknmix
Tracey Abrahams recently posted…My Tattoo Story – The Fallen Angel
Aw this gave me goosebumps! Beautiful #PicknMix xx
Rachel recently posted…Strength
What a beautiful letter to your daughter. And happy birthday little lady. The first year is such an emotional and amazing time #picknmix
So lovely! The line about just wanting her to be happy made me choke up x #picknmix
Jessica Powell recently posted…Living on the Edge - understanding the poverty threshold
Aww what a lovely post!Time flies by doesn’t it.I feel sad knowing I’ll never had a tiny baby again but then I also think now they’re a bit older they are great fun and the newborn milk monsters are hard going with no sleep.I saw her little walk,clever girl!!Hope you had a fab birthday little lady xx #picknmix
Pickinguptoys recently posted…Throwback Thursday – 15th October
Beautifully written! Happy birthday to your baby girl as she becomes a toddler.
x
Jenny Eaves recently posted…1 hour Cosy Crochet Cowl
Ahhh, this is so so lovely! Sometimes it feels like you’ve blinked and missed everything doesn’t it, they grow up so fast. My little man is 3 next month and it just makes me feel so emotional thinking about it! #picknmix
Elaine @ Entertaining Elliot recently posted…My Week in Pictures - 16th October 2015
Had a tear reading this! Such a beautifully written post. Happy 1st birthday xxx
They grow up to quickly don’t they x
Beth recently posted…My Sunday Photo
Such a lovely post, I remember writing some posts before my children’s birthday it’s crazy how fast time goes isn’t it #picknmix
Hannah recently posted…Just Waffling…
What a gorgeous post to your daughter and happy birthday little lady! My littlest is just coming up to 16 months, it’s crazy how quickly time flies isn’t it x
Steph Oakes recently posted…Review* // House of Fraser Toys
Beautiful post. Happy birthday little one!
They do grow up incredible quickly. I am sure I only just became a mother and yet somehow I have a 4 year old and an 8 year old. How?!!
x
Emily @amummytoo recently posted…Half-Pint Chic: gorgeous, affordable clothing for kids (review and £150 A/W wardrobe giveaway)
What a lovely post! Happy 1st Birthday gorgeous girl #picknmix
Maria recently posted…Babyloss awareness week- my story
This is so lovely! Yeah ill admit it, it kind of made me cry!
Commenting from #Love2Blog
Ashleigh recently posted…10 things I love about..
Such a lovely letter to your beautiful little girl, must admit I did have a tear in my eye! Hapy 1st Birthay! Its amazing how quickly the years fly by. Glad I found your lovely blog (am now following)
Emily x #Love2Blog
Happy birthday! Im not sure what happens with babies but blink and you miss it, the quote is certainly true the days are long *very very long* but the years are short x
Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks recently posted…Month Six as a Family of Four
Love stories about the birth, looking back. Happy birthday to your one year old and congrats to you on being a Mom for this past year.
What a beautiful letter! Time flies and they grow so fast. Happy 1st Birthday to your daughter x
What a lovely letter! I have written letters to my daughter before I ever started blogging and now I’m thinking of sharing too! Very inspiring!
Angela
Angela at Daysinbed recently posted…Mirror Mirror on the Wall, I’ll set my Goals and Achieve them All
This is beautiful! Birthday bring back so many memories and bring up so many emotions #picknmix xx
Something Crunchy Mummy recently posted…My Sunday Photo 18/10/15
It’s just an amazing post, hopefully she can look back at it one day! #PicknMix
Ashleigh recently posted…10 things I love about..
This is such a lovely, heartfelt letter. awww I yearn for those new born days again - I know they are sleep deprived but there is something so special when you first meet your baby and they’re so utterly dependent on you xx
amanda recently posted…How to survive a dreaded day in the house… Part 1!
Such a beautiful post. I have to say you look amazing at 39 weeks! Wow! #PicknMix
Su {Ethan & Evelyn} recently posted…Parsnips Chocolate Chips Cookies with Cravendale Milk
Love this post! I’ve loved watching her grow through your blog
Stevie xx
A Cornish Mum recently posted…Link up time again