The guilt often keeps me company when I go to bed and through the night showing itself in tears down my cheeks and a dampness on my pillow where I lay my head. I try not to sob outloud, keeping my tears silent so as not to wake my partner or toddler unsure of where this guilt and sadness that has hit me like a tonne of bricks has come from. Anything can trigger it, a cross word, the feeling that I’ve not spent enough quality time with them that day or a fleeting look of sadness when I’ve said… View Post

1. I’ve had a couple of hours sleep. I was up in the night not once, twice, three times oh no much more than that with the toddler and the 5yr old as he isn’t very well.  2. So I get up tired to a poorly 5yr old and grumpy toddler. 3. Make breakfast for them, the toddler has 3 mouthfuls, gags and then does her passionate arms waving no, no, no. 5yr old decides he doesn’t want his breakfast. 8yr old happily starts to eat his then when he realises his brother isn’t going to school starts complaining of… View Post

To the mum who stands in the aisle in the shops trying to disguise her crying whilst comforting a distressed baby. You are a good Mum. To the Mum who loves her children fiercely but finds it so hard some days. You are a good Mum. To the Mum who tries to ignore the disapproving looks when their toddler is tantruming at the play area and doesn’t want to leave. You are a good Mum. To the Mum who shouts with frustration at her children when they don’t listen and then feels so guilty. You are a good Mum. To… View Post

As I write this post, baby girl has turned 11 months old. So this is a retrospective post on her being 10th months. At 10 months old Ava is still a smiley happy baby although she will now think before giving out smiles and likes to suss you out first. The boys are her biggest entertainment, making her giggle and she will follow them around crawling and with her walker. She also loves to make you giggle and will pull faces and play peekaboo to get a reaction. Ava knows what she wants and so do we as she communicates… View Post

I was tagged by the lovely Laura @ Laura’s Lovely Blog to do I am the Mum who ….. wishes she was more organised and tries really hard to be. loves watching my children grow and change, but finds it sad that they aren’t little for long. always knew I wanted to be a Mum yet still doesn’t feel like a real Mum. loves cuddles from my children and my man. suffers from gone to bed guilt! loves looking at photo’s of my children and isn’t in enough with them. wishes she had more time to just spend enjoying my… View Post