Online dating – My story

I found myself at 28 with two little boys and a failed marriage! I can remember thinking that was it. I was going to be alone for ever. No one was going to want to get with someone who had two kids and baggage!

I didn’t want to be alone forever, but the thought of going out to bars and clubs to meet drunk, leery men terrified me! How the hell was I going to do it?

Mummyandmonkeys

My friend suggested I set up an online dating profile. So at first I did it as a bit of an experiment. I joined a well know free dating site. I wasn’t going to pay till I knew what it was all about. It took me ages to find a couple of suitable pictures. Not too mumsy, not too posed. A natural one where I didn’t have my eyes closed or have my boys in it. Then comes the about me section. I got as far as I’m a mum to two boys. That’s all I had to say about myself. For the last few months that’sΒ all I had focused on. I didn’t have time for myself to do anything interesting or exciting. I’m a primary teacher, not exactly thrilling.

The first time I set my profile live I think I lasted for a few hours before hiding it. I had messages, not just one, quite a few. They ranged from ‘hi’ yes that was all it included. To very graphic, omg why would you even write that messages. Clicking through the profiles I thought I can’t do this. Too old, too young, too weird! Were there any normal men out there?! My first experience scared me. I felt exposed and vulnerable. I didn’t go back on for a few weeks.

The best thing that happened was getting a single friend involved. I didn’t feel so alone. We treated it as a bit of a laugh and I stopped taking it seriously. We both set our profiles to live and within a few hours had messages. The funniest thing, we had messages from the same people, saying exactly the same thing. They hadn’t even read our profiles. They just had a generic message that would get sent to every girl that popped up that they liked the look of. Any boring or rude messages just got ignored. The message had to be personal and show that they had actually had a read of my profile to warrant a reply.

I would know within a few messages back and forward whether I could get on with someone, online. However the way people are online can sometimes be very different to how they are in real life. Have you seen Catfish? I went on a few dates, some good, some a total disaster! Every date I would feel sick with nerves beforehand. After a few dates and not clicking with anyone I decided to give it all a rest. At least it had given me a confidence boost and shown me that people aren’t always that bothered by kids and baggage. There are a lot of people out there the same.

Bored one Sunday evening I decided to log back on and up on the bottom of the screen popped someone who caught my eye. Reading through his profile I was interested but it said at the bottom not to be upset if he didn’t reply as it saved in the long run. Not wanting to miss the opportunity I pinged off a message. Well I say pinged, more like agonised over what to say and then quickly pressed send before I could chicken out. I think I tried to be funny, I wish I could remember what I had put. Then sat nervously waiting. I rang my friend who looked at his profile and agreed that yes he was very nice. Neither of us thought I would get a reply so I think I actually squealed with delight when I did. We messaged back and forward though the site initially and quickly moved to messaging through Facebook messenger.

I think the first date was set for a couple of weeks after the initial contact or maybe it was a week?! I had my hair done that day and it was a beautiful early Spring day which makes everything seem great. I can remember being so nervous and excited. More excited than I had been before. I was on the phone to my friend waiting for him to pick me up as we were going to my local country pub. I said to her that I wasn’t doing it anymore after this date, I couldn’t deal with the nerves. He picked me up and instantly we got on, there weren’ too many awkward silences, we had loads to chat about and he was even more good looking in the flesh. I’m not totally shallow but you need that initial attraction. Our first date was a total success and we spoke every day for the next week till meeting again the following weekend. I knew on this second date that this was going to be something more. I fell in love very quickly which surprised and terrified me at the same time after being hurt before. Luckily for me, he felt the same.

I’m so grateful to online dating. Without it I really don’t think I would have met him. We lived not that far away but in a different town. Very rarely went to the same places and had no friends in common. It would have been a total chance meeting had we have met another way. I’m so glad I logged on that day and saw him and that I plucked up the courage to send that first message. I could still be sitting here on my own wondering how I was ever going to meet someone. If you are reading this and wondering whether to give internet dating a go, do it!! Two years later, I’m very happy with a beautiful baby girl and my perfect partner.

I learnt a lot very quickly on the online dating scene and picked up quite a few tips and ways to keep yourself safe. I will be doing some more posts on online dating so if there is anything you would like to know please do ask.

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34 Comments

  1. March 10, 2015 / 2:50 pm

    what a lovely story! I like you wouldn’t have been able to cope with the nerves!!! So glad it all had a very happy ending xxx

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:47 pm

      The nerves were all worth it in the end x

  2. March 10, 2015 / 5:16 pm

    Lovely story! I really enjoyed reading it. x

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:46 pm

      Thank you x

  3. March 10, 2015 / 6:21 pm

    Aww! Such a lovely story!
    I met my fella through online dating too….There is some strange me out there luckily my fella wasn’t one of them x

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:46 pm

      There definitely are some strange people out there x

  4. March 11, 2015 / 9:31 am

    I am so pleased it worked out for you. I have been to a few internet dating weddings recently and so great that it can be a success #sharewithme

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:46 pm

      I’ve never been to an internet dating wedding. Perhaps mine will be the first (fingers crossed!) x

  5. March 11, 2015 / 4:20 pm

    Ah a lovely story with a happy ending πŸ™‚ My mum met my step dad on a chat room site about 14 years ago and they are still going strong. Its nice to hear the good side of internet dating rather than the bad all the time πŸ™‚

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:45 pm

      Yes, I think it gets a lot of bad publicity. Without it I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today x

  6. March 11, 2015 / 7:05 pm

    Aw what a lovely happy ending. Met my husband online too πŸ™‚

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:44 pm

      Hi fellow happy outcome internet dater x

  7. March 11, 2015 / 10:16 pm

    Only been on one date via an online dating site and he was much older than his photo and, although it was quite nice, it was nothing special. Maybe one day, I’ll follow your example…

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:44 pm

      Oh no, that’s naughty. I’m going to post some more posts with tips, so I will let you know when I do. There are ways to avoid the Catfishes x

  8. Wicked World of Lucas
    March 12, 2015 / 1:19 pm

    What a lovely story and so nice to hear of a happy ending. Sounds like it was fate……… #sharewithme

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:43 pm

      I think it was πŸ˜‰ x

  9. March 12, 2015 / 1:22 pm

    The Mothers say – Such a fabulous ending. Halfway through reading, we were really rooting that you two would still be together and we’re so happy that this was the case πŸ™‚ #sharewithme

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:43 pm

      Thanks for rooting for me πŸ˜‰ x

  10. March 13, 2015 / 1:55 pm

    Great ending and my family there are many couples from online dating and have been married for years and while it can be tough I think you did it right with a single friend. My bff did the same and it really helped. Its hard to weed out the weirdos but comparing and being choosy can help too. Great story. Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:43 pm

      Aww that’s lovely to hear that they have been married for years. I think online dating gets a bad rep sometimes. Yes there are some weirdos but without it I wouldn’t be where I am today! x

  11. Jen
    March 14, 2015 / 8:49 am

    Thanks for sharing your story. Inspiring)

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:41 pm

      You are welcome x

  12. March 14, 2015 / 10:39 am

    Lovely to hear a nice outcome from on-line dating, it sure seems to be the way forward.

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:41 pm

      I think it is definitely becoming more and more popular x

  13. March 14, 2015 / 2:26 pm

    Grateful post! My online dating life is pretty much how you describe it at the beginning. Getting a single mate into it as well is a great thing. I did that very same thing. Sadly though after about a 3 weeks I’ve given up. Literally nothing. My friend on the other hand has done super well from it. Which I’m pleased about. I think I may have taken it to seriously….but I am one who put a lot of effort in. Even when it was fun. I took it down shortly ago just because I had started doing it seriously.
    Would be great to read more of your posts on it though. Then maybe give it another go somewhere in the future. #bigfatlinky

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:41 pm

      I will let you know when I do some more. Give it another try, I kept my profile hidden so I could contact those I liked the look of only and it felt a lot less pressured x

  14. March 14, 2015 / 2:28 pm

    I love a happy ending story! And this is inspiring to get back out there if you want to to those that might just need a helping hand! XX

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:40 pm

      I hope it does inspire people x

  15. March 15, 2015 / 4:08 pm

    Aaaah what a gorgeous story!! I’m a sucker for a tale with a happy ending! Good for you, getting yourself out there again. It just goes to show that life isn’t over if a relationship breaks down; it can be the beginning of something fabulous. #SundayStars

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

    • MummyandMonkeys
      March 18, 2015 / 8:40 pm

      Thank you, yes it definitely doesn’t have to be the end πŸ˜‰ x

  16. March 20, 2015 / 2:04 pm

    Lovely post. I also met my partner online and we are now living together 2 years on.
    Online dating really is the way to go xx

  17. March 21, 2015 / 9:50 am

    what a lovely story so nice to hear an online success! good on you for putting yourself out there and congratulations on finding someone great! thanks for linking up to #sundaystars

  18. mud cakes and wine
    March 27, 2015 / 1:45 pm

    Lovely story, I met my now husband over 11 years ago online :0)

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