Life at 33 isn’t the way I thought it would be

Life at 33 isn’t what I thought it would be. If I think back to being 18, I’m pretty sure at that point I thought I had loads of time till I was in my 30’s. It seemed so far away, like a different life. If you had asked me at 18, what will you be doing at 33? I would have told you that I would be either famous, living abroad or both. At 18 I was modelling, travelling and a real free spirit. I loved rock music, gigs and fashion. I was planning to travel the World and I was pretty head strong. 

I thought I would have an amazing career that excited me and one that I excelled at. Be confident, happy, have many friends and an interesting and exciting life. I always saw kids in my future, just maybe not as early on as they came. I thought I would have a nice husband, but not one that I had to obey! A sporty car and a beautiful house with sea views and live in flip flops.

Then my 20’s happened and were pretty much a disaster zone. Finishing my PGCE whilst pregnant. Getting married, then getting divorced and being a single mum to 2 boys was definitely not the plan. Neither was having money worries that kept me awake at night and meant I counted the pennies and crossed my fingers with the food shopping at the till.

I have more emotional scars than I thought was possible and there have been plenty of those ‘oh shit’ moments. Friends have come and gone and I haven’t been to nearly as many gigs as I thought I would, or travel to as many places. 

My 20’s definitely dulled my sparkle around the edges, I thought beyond repair. But maybe, just maybe my 30’s will recover it. Now I’m 33 it doesn’t feel as old as I thought it would. I’ve still got time to reach my goals. So if you ask me what my life will be like at 43 it probably won’t be the way I think it will be, but I hope it is!

 

1 Comment

  1. A S,Edinburgh
    December 2, 2017 / 9:14 am

    What a lovely article, thank you for posting it. Life gives us so many surprises, often bad as well as good, but all we can do is make the most of what we can, keep going, and see what’s coming next. I hope the next 10 years are great ones for you.

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