I want to be good at something

I’ve always felt like a bit of a coaster, fairly easily walking my way through School, University, life. Don’t get me wrong, struggling would not be a better option, I know, I have had those moments in life too.

I don’t think there has ever been anything obvious that I’ve excelled in.

I’m not really sure why it’s important to me, but I saw something online the other day asking you to think of one thing you are good at and my mind drew a blank. 

A total blank!

How sad is that? Almost 32 and I have nothing I can say I’m good at, o’k, passable, plenty, but good, no.

I want to be good at something.

At School I was an all rounder, top sets but not the top, good at sport, but not the best. A’s, B’s and C’s at GCSE, but no A*s. A 2:2 Psychology degree, I just missed out on a 2:1 which still annoys me! 

Now as an adult I feel like I’m a good ish Mum some days, but not good. I know my job doesn’t help, being graded on your performance as a teacher based on a snapshot and a computer pupil tracking system has always been stressful, it’s a job where you could always have done something better. Getting passed up on opportunities because I’m part time, but knowing I couldn’t do the job full time, it already takes so much from me.

Maybe it’s a confidence thing? I can think of things I could possibly say I’m good at, but then I think of the things that make me not so good at it, you know that niggling voice in your head, saying but are you really?

When I stop and think about it, could it be the fact I had my family young meaning I’ve never had that time to find out what I’m good at, or any time to think about myself, I never really had those selfish years.

Is it now a lack of time, being stretched and pulled in so many directions I never get the chance to focus on one thing, never mind focus on anything for myself. 

Or maybe it’s the way I am! I’m just an all rounder and always will be and is there anything wrong with that? 

But if I’m being honest, for me, I would love to be able to say one thing, just one thing I am good at and know it!  Not say it and then start thinking, well actually, are you? 

So it got me wondering, am I alone in feeling like this? I’m surrounded by people who I look at and can say things they are good at. Do you all feel the same as I do or is their something you could say you are good at and know it? 

Having dinner the other night I asked James to tell me something he thought I was good at. Thinking maybe it’s obvious to others, like how I look at people and can see it. He thought for quite a while and then said writing. So is that now what I need to focus on, try and find some time to improve, so that I actually feel like I am good at it?

I’ve got a horrible feeling that I will see the same meme pop up in a years time and my reaction will be the same. A blank. I don’t want it to be a blank!

20 Comments

  1. August 26, 2016 / 6:09 am

    Don’t be too harsh on yourself. It sounds as though you are just a natural at things you do. It means you don’t have to train to do it – it just comes. So yeah, maybe you *could* be an expert, but if it comes easily, run with it and feel proud of yourself. #picknmix

  2. August 26, 2016 / 9:38 am

    I agree with the comments above don’t be so harsh. You’re great at writing and I’m sure there’s loads of other things. I do know what you mean though. It’s hard to pinpoint something sometimes!

    #Picknmix

  3. August 26, 2016 / 10:26 am

    oh my your so not alone and he is correct your very good at writing. and I am sure also an excellent at your job. I would be exactly the same but i dare ask Mr MC&W as he answer would not be and it would not be sensible #picknmix

    • MummyandMonkeys
      August 29, 2016 / 6:42 pm

      Haha James’ first answer was not a sensible one x

  4. August 26, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    Don’t feel bad! I am sure you are good at lots of things! I am in the same boat, sometimes you do so much that you just get on with things to get by and then are not sure what you actually are good at… #picknmix

  5. August 26, 2016 / 1:54 pm

    You know what, Im pretty much the same. Always cruised through school and jobs. I cant actually say I enjoy my field of work, i kind of just fell into it. Perhaps I should give this some thought and consider what Im good at too. A change of career path might suit now that I have two little ones?! #picknmix
    Lisa – The Love of a Captain blog recently posted…Hudson’s Birth StoryMy Profile

  6. August 26, 2016 / 2:40 pm

    I know exactly how you feel! I’m 26 and I don’t have a “thing”. I don’t work anymore (despite having a masters degree) and when I did I didn’t feel like I excelled at it anyway. Its tough to know what your forte is! #picknmix
    OddHogg recently posted…Piglet – 6 Months UpdateMy Profile

  7. August 26, 2016 / 3:25 pm

    How about being good at being an all rounder? I’m the same, I’ve always been ‘ok’ at everything but never really excelled anywhere nor ever spectacularly failed. I’m thinking though surely that’s something to celebrate though. I’m sure plenty of ‘one trick ponies’ out there would love to be more rounded (so I tell myself!!) #picknmix

  8. August 26, 2016 / 9:05 pm

    I know where you are coming from lovely, I would be the same about myself. In fact I had to fill a form out about a year ago and it asked me that question and I struggled to give an answer. For me it is definitely a confidence thing and I’m not sure how to overcome that. I agree with James your writing is awesome x
    Laura – dear bear and beany recently posted…Dreaming the Night Away…#DreamsExplainedMy Profile

  9. August 27, 2016 / 5:49 am

    I feel like I could have written this so you are not alone. I had my son not long after university , I never had the time to get into a career and excel at something. I have a first degree but I still wouldn’t describe myself as clever and half the time I don’t feel like I’m a great mum either. I r think it’s a confidence thing s for me. I agree with James, you are a brilliant writer, I always enjoy reading your posts. Also, there’s nothing wrong with being an all rounder πŸ™‚ xx #picknmix
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  10. August 27, 2016 / 12:12 pm

    I’ve felt this way pretty much my whole life. The way I see it, once you find something you’re passionate about, just throw yourself at it and you’ll be good at it. passion is key! #PicknMix
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  11. August 27, 2016 / 1:35 pm

    You are great at being you πŸ˜‰ I used to feel the same way and wished I had a talent like being able to sing or anything I could be really good at. Then I decided that I am pretty epic at being me and no one else can beat me at that πŸ˜‰

    Stevie xx
    A Cornish Mum recently posted…Scooter Tips and Tricks with HalfordsMy Profile

  12. August 27, 2016 / 4:12 pm

    Don’t be too harsh on yourself! How about you are good at anything you put your mind to. I have my fingers in a lot of pies too, I think more people are like you than you think! πŸ˜‰ #picknmix

  13. August 27, 2016 / 9:28 pm

    I’m 41 and feel the same way sometimes. There have been things over the years that I’ve been “better than most” at, and that’s going to have to be good enough. Better to be pretty good at lots of things than great at one and terrible at everything else I suppose! #picnmix
    jeremy@thirstydaddy recently posted…War of The PetsMy Profile

  14. August 27, 2016 / 10:38 pm

    I think you are incredibly critical of yourself. Being an all-rounder doesn’t mean you’re bad at anything, it means you’re good at a lot of things – just not the best. And no-one needs to be the best, there’s further to fall when you’re at the top!

    You are a lovely person Eilidh and I wish we lived closer as I know you would be pretty damn ‘good’ at being friends. Chin up lovely, you are pretty great, knock that little judgey conscience thing off your shoulder! x
    Donna recently posted…Enjoying a #NetflixKidsClub in LondonMy Profile

  15. August 28, 2016 / 5:42 pm

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, I’m the same and I’m quite hard on myself too. You are fab and a great mummy! I hope you are having a lovely bank holiday weekend!

  16. August 29, 2016 / 8:00 pm

    Oh my word – I could have written this post. I always say this – I remember growing up a teacher said everyone has a gift everyone is good at something. I have always struggle with what my talent is, I am 35 and I think what am I good at?? I think it really is a confidence thing – I know if I asked my best friend or husband they would give me a long list but I probably wouldn’t believe them anyway!

    #picknmix

  17. August 30, 2016 / 11:14 am

    You don’t feel that you are good in blogging? I did a quick view on your blog and I think you have something that you can say “I’m good in it” and definitely it’s blogging πŸ™‚
    #PicknMix

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