10 months in to sleep deprivation and with no end in sight it is slowly killing parts of my life. I posted a while back about some of the crazy sleep deprived things I have done. This is the more serious side of sleep deprivation.
My relationship with James
As the tiredness is affecting us both we are both not making an effort. We end up sitting on the sofa in the evenings in silence, on days together we don’t have the energy to do anything. Affection is down to the bare minimum and we are snappy at each other. We planned a date night and when it couldn’t happen instead of doing something else we went to bed to sleep!
My relationship with my children
I’m a pretty patient person but my patience gets worn away very quickly the more tired I am. I don’t have the energy to do things with them and can’t concentrate on playing with them. All the little fun things that I could do with them I don’t as everything else takes longer. I end up letting them do easy things like play on the PlayStation and cook easy meals.
We still have boxes to unpack from when we moved. I put a load of washing on then forget it is there and have to do it again. I’m constantly thinking about and or tidying and cleaning and it doesn’t get any better as I don’t have the energy to do it.
I don’t remember to message people back or have the energy to plan and organise meeting up. The thought of going out in the evening when I know I’m going to be really tired is not appealing.
I don’t take care of myself, not taking my make up off, not having the energy to straighten my hair after I wash it. I can’t be bothered to make myself look nice which in turn affects my relationship with James. I crave sugary things like fat coke and caffeine which I know don’t help how tired I feel.
Reading this back it’s all very depressing. I’m happy really and wouldn’t change my baby girl for anything, apart from the lack of sleep!