No more football

I cried earlier, packing away Kyle’s football kit to give back to his coach, tears of frustration, anger and sadness. Being a parent is tough anyway but sometimes it totally sucks, especially when there is something upsetting your child that you can’t do anything about despite the trying!

I don’t like the cold, rain or mud and yet I happily stood in it most Saturday’s last season to support Kyle who wanted to play football. That’s what being a parent is about to me, giving them the chance to have a go, to succeed, to do something they enjoy even if you don’t.

It’s not about me or anyone else, it’s about them!

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So to have the decision on whether to play in the team taken away from him has made me feel like I have failed. I want him to be able to play football if that’s what he wants.

He now can’t!

The requirement this year is that he attends training during the week one evening and either a match or more training on the Saturday. He was going to miss every other Saturday when I don’t have him, this could not be rectified, I tried and the coach tried. No reason was given making it harder to sort, just a reply saying he would be missing every other week met by silence when I tried to find out how to make it work. 

Last week at the first match of the season he played so well, so happy with his friends despite the pouring rain he smiled over at me on the sidelines and I wanted to cry. I knew it was probably going to be the last match, maybe the last football match on a Saturday he ever plays.

The coach wanted to know if he was going to be there the following week and I had to say he wasn’t. They were discussing it over Kyle who was standing next to me holding my hand and I could see the crumpled expression on his face, still so little sometimes. I desperately wanted to make it better, to take it all away and make his life easier, but I couldn’t, I can’t.

This is not what I wanted for them, it’s not a normal childhood.
My heart breaks for them when they are effected by something that was nothing to do with them.

I know there isn’t a lot I can do but it still hurts, but I will continue to be there, to support him in any way I can and hopefully he will know I tried my best.

28 Comments

  1. September 15, 2016 / 9:04 pm

    Aww bless him, you can’t blame yourself, you tried your best. xxx

  2. September 15, 2016 / 9:42 pm

    Can his Dad not take him on the alternate weeks? Or pick him up after football? It sounds like it means an awful lot to him. You haven’t failed Eilidh, sometimes there are just bumps in the road xx
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    • September 21, 2016 / 8:22 pm

      Thanks, no that’s the problem I’ve tried to sort it with him and can’t! x

  3. September 16, 2016 / 6:44 am

    Well, that just sounds a stupid rule. I’m annoyed for Kyle and for you. Is there not another local team he can join who won’t be so petty minded? Hope you work something out. Sending hugs x
    #PicknMix
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  4. September 16, 2016 / 8:01 am

    It doesn’t sound like those in charge don’t like to play as a team. It’s supposed to be fun, why on earth do they think it’s OK to take it away from your son? Poor behaviour on their part, no one can say you didn’t try your best to sort things out.

    #PicknMix
    The Tale of Mummyhood recently posted…Guilt Free ParentingMy Profile

  5. September 16, 2016 / 8:05 am

    Oh that’s so sad, I’ve got tears in my eyes. He will bounce back, children are very resilient. The fact you care so much shows what a good mum you are. You’ve tried your best and that’s all anyone can ask of you. Thanks for sharing. I was told yesterday to write about what hurts, that just showed me a great example x

  6. September 16, 2016 / 8:08 am

    That’s so unfair on your boy. It’s not his fault that he can’t attend every week. Sometimes rules are just there to make things difficult. It wouldn’t have made any difference if we only attended Saturday training every other week. Gutted for you both.

    Sally @ Life Loving
    #picknmix

  7. September 16, 2016 / 9:16 am

    I’m so sorry, that is really crap of them! Every family has different circumstances, you would think they would do their best to try and accommodate you. Maybe there’s another team that will be more flexible? x

    • September 21, 2016 / 8:34 pm

      I think unfortunately he’s got to the age where it’s become more serious and they all seem to be like it x
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  8. September 16, 2016 / 2:10 pm

    Oh I’m so sorry – I know it’s hurts like hell when they are upset but its not your fault. What a ridiculous rule and lack of flexibility. Is there another team he could join locally? I know it won’t be the same but he might enjoy it?

  9. September 16, 2016 / 2:55 pm

    It must be so frustrating for you and your poor son is the one who has to suffer. I hope that you find another way for Kyle to play in a team and be happy #PicknMix
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  10. September 16, 2016 / 3:37 pm

    Aww this has made me so angry, I am so sorry for you. I do not see how it makes any difference. What a ridiculous rule. Especially when they are so little? Fair enough if they were playing premiership football! Aww poor you, do not worry, a team with so little flexibility is just not worth it. Is there another around that he could join? #picknmix

  11. September 16, 2016 / 6:55 pm

    Oh I’m so sorry to read this, is there no way his Dad can take him? My son has played football from the age of four and we agreed between us that my ex husband would take him on the weekends he was there, and vice versa. We also go and watch him play, even when it’s not our weekend, just to show our support and for him to know both of his parents are there together. I always wanted him to know that just because we weren’t together didn’t mean that he wasn’t born into a marriage that at one time was filled with love. It’s so hard, huge hugs to you. #picknmix

  12. September 16, 2016 / 8:40 pm

    Oh that’s so sad 🙁 I hope you can figure something out. And if not, don’t beat yourself up, you tried your best x #picknmix
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  13. September 17, 2016 / 10:41 pm

    This has made me a bit angry because who are they to dictate to you that he HAS to come twice a week! For most families that is just too much because there are other children in the household etc and parents have to work! I would say find a new team and play for them instead and stuff that coach – he is being totally unreasonable. You, however, are doing a great job and don’t beat yourself up over this. Find another team where the training isn’t so strict! 🙂 #picknmix
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  14. September 18, 2016 / 5:08 pm

    What a shame for him. Sooooo not your fault though. You would think in this day and age that organised children’s groups could be a bit more lenient and understanding.

  15. September 18, 2016 / 7:51 pm

    aww bless it doesn’t really seem fair does it. surely they want to encourage children to take part in activities like this whether they can make it once or twice a week :/ seems really unfair #picknmix

  16. September 30, 2016 / 4:16 pm

    How frustrating and sad. My initial thoughts were to find another team or to speak to his father and try to come to an agreement to get your son to the match every week. But I can see these suggestions have already been made and you have already tried. The only other thing I can think of is to get your son involved in five-a-side or seven-a-side football which tends to be less rigid (and has the added bonus of often being indoors!). Maybe try the local leisure centre or see if there’s a PowerLeague or similar nearby (https://www.powerleague.co.uk/kids/coaching). Maybe his school has a team too which he could get involved with – they tend to play and train on weekday evenings. I got so much from playing football as a kid, I really hope you can find a solution.

    All the best, Rob.

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