Mourning the end of the holidays

I can’t believe it’s the end of the summer holidays, I’m distraught. I look forward to these weeks so much, especially as a teacher, it means I actually get to spend some quality time with my kids. The last year at work was stressful to put it mildly and the thought of going back to all of it makes me shudder. I’m starting to have sleepless nights filled with weird dreams and I know it’s the anxiety about returning.

Not only that though, I’m morning the end of another summer, the end of empty days stretching out in front of us with no rush to get dressed. I’m sad for all the things we didn’t get around to doing, for that fact that I will never have this summer with them again. They all have Birthday’s in September and October and are growing and changing so quickly I wish I could slow it down. 

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I regret the days I counted down the minutes until bedtime, when I had run out of patience and couldn’t take any more arguing or whining. I wish I could go back and fill some of them with more laughter and smiles.

There have been plenty of happy days too, days with sunshine and happy faces, tired little bodies by the end of the day falling asleep in the car on the way back home. 

There have been beaches with sand between our toes, the sun on our faces, ice creams, sandcastle building and jumping in the waves.

There have been country parks, friends, family,picnics and grazed knees.

There have been planes, traffic jams, cocktails, sunbathing and swimming.

There have been flushed faces, freckles, screams of laughter, tears and lots of memories made.

I had plans for the last week that we haven’t been able to do due to chicken pox and so I’m sitting here unable to make the most of the sun, the countryside, the time before it ends. So I’m going to do my best for the last few days, I’m going to spend time cuddling, reading stories together and watching them play.

I’m going to take in their little faces and try to absorb the details before it all gets rushed again. 

I know in a weeks time I will be at work, wishing I could do it all over again! 

 

31 Comments

  1. September 1, 2016 / 8:02 pm

    I could’ve written this post myself, you’ve captured all my thoughts and emotions perfectly. I’m dreading returning to work, and like you, have had many a sleepless night worrying about it. There are going to be lots of changes for us this month too – a new headteacher where I work (new rules, policies, expectations, and workload!) Parker going to a childminder for the first time and my husband moving to a different department in his job. It’s going to challenging and I’m already counting down the days until half term! But, we will manage. Sending hugs! xx

  2. September 2, 2016 / 6:58 am

    I always hated when my children went back to school. And what bad luck to get chickenpox in the holidays 🙁 But I like the sound of your summer. I bet your children did too.
    #PicknMix
    Suz recently posted…Planning my picture book videoMy Profile

  3. September 2, 2016 / 7:04 am

    This is so beautiful and sums up summer perfectly – so much done, yet so much not done too. Mine are not yet at school but my husband is a teacher and the summer months have flown by. It feels like only yesterday I was waiting for term to end. Good luck with your return to work. #PicknMix

  4. September 2, 2016 / 7:23 am

    it genuinely seems to speed up – time that is – but we mustn’t regret what we didn’t or did do but just take what we’ve learnt and cherish the moments yet to come. Sorry to hear chickenpox hit in the holidays but I love your positivity of cuddles and reading. Hope going back isn;t too awful #PickNMix

  5. September 2, 2016 / 7:54 am

    Sounds like you had a fab time my lovely. The Summer hols are long and no one is super woman. No one can be perky and energetic 24/7. You gave them the best summer you could and that one was awesome. Good luck being back at work. Hope this year is kinder to you #picknmix
    Lisa Savage recently posted…On the School BusMy Profile

  6. September 2, 2016 / 8:21 am

    I feel like I could have written this too! It has gone far too quick but it sounds as if you have made the most of it. Last week I was counting down the days until they the summer holidays ended due to tantrums and fights but now I want more time! #picknmix

  7. September 2, 2016 / 10:32 am

    Ahh I have always felt like this at the end of summer and my precious girls go back to school. It is even worse this year as my lovely eldest daughter leaves for Uni and I am distraught!! Roll on next summer. Thank you for such a beautifully written post. xx #PicknMix
    Sharon Parry recently posted…Meningitis in students – what you need to knowMy Profile

  8. September 2, 2016 / 10:36 am

    Summer has gone so quickly this year….although as my little man is in nursery it hasn’t affected any work, so our routine has been normal. I have had a few days off with him though just chilling as a family and it has been lovely #picknmix

  9. September 2, 2016 / 10:57 am

    Oh this is lovely! It sounds like you have had a wonderful summer! xxx

  10. September 2, 2016 / 10:58 am

    Oh this is lovely! It sounds like you have had a wonderful summer! xxx #picknmix

  11. September 2, 2016 / 11:29 am

    Summer is such a great time isn’t it – I am missing it already. We are up in Scotland so have been back to school for 2 weeks, the weather is grey and its getting dark earlier at night – I want my summer back ! #picknmix
    lynn @ More4mums recently posted…Not feeling the Love ? Bonding with BabyMy Profile

  12. September 2, 2016 / 12:48 pm

    Sounds like you had a great summer! I hope work won’t be as stressful for you. My girls are not of school age yet but I think I’ll be easily the one who was counting down the days until the end f summer and then regretting it so much! #PickNMix
    Rebecca recently posted…Friday Frivolity – Letter WritingMy Profile

  13. September 2, 2016 / 4:42 pm

    Hubbie and I are fellow teachers too so we know the feeling of dreading going back to work too! We’re taking some time out to be with boys so we can have a kind of an endless summer. They really do grow up too quickly! #PicknMix
    Andrea @ Topsy Turvy Tribe recently posted…A year ago today…SurgeryMy Profile

  14. September 2, 2016 / 5:00 pm

    It’s gone by so fast! I’m sorry your holidays have ended like mine started with chicken pox!!! It’s rubbish timing. I’m sad to hear you are anxious about returning to work, I hope your first day back isn’t too bad X
    Laura @dearbearandbeany recently posted…A Snapshot of…AugustMy Profile

  15. September 2, 2016 / 7:25 pm

    I am not returning to work, so my time with Piglet will not change. But I am lapping up the last of these warm summer days as it won’t be long until Autumn is upon us #picknmix
    OddHogg recently posted…August Round Up 2016My Profile

  16. September 2, 2016 / 8:03 pm

    This summer really has flown by. My son is going back as a big year 3 and can no longer be classed as one of the little kids and I really wish I could slow time down, it feels like I’ll blink and he’ll be starting secondary school. We have at least had a great summer with lots of days out to treasure. #Picknmix
    Alana – Burnished Chaos recently posted…Monthly Bucket List – September 2016My Profile

  17. September 3, 2016 / 2:16 am

    aww sounds like you had a fab summer holiday. a lot of my teacher friends feel the same re going back. it seems the six weeks do speed up more and more #picknmix

  18. September 3, 2016 / 7:11 am

    Oh it’s so horrible having to leave it all behind and go back to work. Being in Scotland we started back a few weeks ago and summer (if you can call it that!) is a distant memory, hope you enjoy the last few days and all goes well going back! #picknmix
    Emma (Upside Mum) recently posted…Resilience – Fill Your BucketMy Profile

  19. Helen
    September 3, 2016 / 7:35 am

    Aww this is such a lovely post and one I’m sure a lot of us can relate to. I’m sad summer is over, though I have to admit I do love autumn 🙂 #picknmix

    Helen x

    http://www.treasureeverymoment.co.uk/

  20. September 3, 2016 / 9:10 am

    Aw it must be so hard when the summer holidays come to an end, especially as a teacher. Sorry to hear your anxious about returning to work, I hope it goes okay. I always find that things are never as bad in reality as what you expect them to be in the run up. Fingers crossed for you. It sounds like you’ve had a lovely summer together and the kids must’ve loved every minute of it xx #picknmix

  21. September 3, 2016 / 7:23 pm

    Sounds like you made the most of it and creating memories X #picknmix

  22. September 3, 2016 / 9:11 pm

    I am definitely mourning the summer, no matter how much we have done over the summer I still get that mummy guilt that we could have done more! I am back at uni in a couple of weeks ready to knuckle down for my final year and I know it’s going to be stressful but I can rest easy knowing that my boys will know what hard work is and how it pays off 🙂 Great post even though it did make me a little sad to remember that summer is over! #picknmix
    Jade – Raw Childhood recently posted…Our reflux & allergy journey – Part 1My Profile

  23. September 3, 2016 / 11:20 pm

    I too this year am mourning the holidays x
    Good luck with the new term x

    PS. are your job alright with you blogging?
    RachelSwirl recently posted…#LittleLoves – A Bleak WeekMy Profile

  24. September 4, 2016 / 4:58 pm

    It goes so quickly doesn’t it. Finley started school on Thursday and it feels like there will never be the time to relax again – silly I know! Also both boys managed to fracture an arm this year so our plans have been somewhat changed but we’ve had a brilliant summer #picknmix xx
    Something Crunchy Mummy recently posted…Today You Start School……My Profile

  25. September 6, 2016 / 6:41 pm

    I’m not happy that summer already ens because I love sun
    #PicknMix

  26. September 8, 2016 / 1:14 pm

    Aw Eilidh, the holidays go way too quickly don’t they?! I would love another week with my boys, but I am counting down til the October half term instead and hoping this term goes quickly.

    Stevie xx
    A Cornish Mum recently posted…The School Reviewer WebsiteMy Profile

  27. September 9, 2016 / 6:16 am

    I am always clinging on to summer and sad it is over and I do dread the back to school, especially the waking up early lol. You did well with your summer holidays. #picknmix

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